Teach for Hysteria: We Wear the Mask, Lyrics of a Lowly Life

From Lyrics of a Lowly Life, 1896, by Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)

              We Wear the Mask


    WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
    It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
    This debt we pay to human guile;
    With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
    And mouth with myriad subtleties.

    Why should the world be over-wise,
    In counting all our tears and sighs?
    Nay, let them only see us, while
            We wear the mask.

    We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
    To thee from tortured souls arise.
    We sing, but oh the clay is vile
    Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
    But let the world dream otherwise,
            We wear the mask!

Okay, maybe he didn't mean this, but this poem is what comes to mind as I sit in the teacher's lounge listening to my comrades plotting on how they will handle their meetings with the principal about their plans for next year. That and Derrick Bell's : "A people without power must use cunning and guile." Next year, our present administration will only be in charge of 8th grade; there will be two new schools in the building who will do 6th and 7th; and the following year, our school will officially exist no more.

In case you were wondering, this is how the DOE slowly fires administrators whose schools have shown little to no improvement. In this case, not only have they not shown any improvement, but each year, teachers run to other schools in droves, 35 just last year, and rumor has it that at the Region the word is out not to send anyone good to fill our vacancies because that would be throwing them to the wolves.

SO, in the midst of all this, the principal, let's call him, oh I dunno, Psychotic Man, or PM for short, wants to meet with each staff member to "answer questions and find out plans for the coming year." This is, of course, an exercise in futility, because no one in their right mind is going to tell him the truth for fear of negative repurcussions. One woman actually begged to keep her job next year although she already has one lined up somewhere else. I cannot think of one person who wants to stay. And yet, no one who is trying to continue to teach in NYC public schools is going to tell him the truth -- that we are out of here buddy. Have fun trying to staff for next year when we, in effect, have been offered get out of jail free cards.

Oh, wait, didn't you know? Usually, if you want to go to another school in the system, you have to get your current principal to "release" you -- yes, the other two words that follow that phrase are, indeed, "from bondage." This strategy, according to our Regional Superintendent, "helps create community." Well, yeah, communities full of bitter people who wish they were elsewhere. As you can imagine, the principal who actually grants these magical releases is rare, even when the receiving principal intervenes and BEGS for the new staff person. Hence, those who really wish to leave are forced to use cunning and guile. Of course, once they know you might be leaving, all sorts of rumors start, because there are always those gusanos who are trying to curry favor. And then the games begin.

What kinds of things are my dear work friends afraid of? Oh, I dunno, maybe:
-- Being pulled out of class and berated for two hours until even Psychotic Man sputters that he isn't making any sense or has a point
-- Having bulletin boards ripped to shreds by PM
-- Having your class interrupted and being yelled at ( and I do mean yelled) for some untoward thing, like a book inside a desk, a child without a binder or a pencil or a pen or an independent reading book, in front of your students
-- During one of aforementioned public harangues, having PM ask a student, "So what IS your teacher doing anyway?"
-- Being told to rewrite all your lessons plans by your departmental head (an Asst Principal, and PM's lackey) -- yes, even the ones YOU HAVE ALREADY TAUGHT
-- general blackballing -- want to start a club, go on a trip, take a personal business day, go to a friend's funeral, etc etc? NO.

And it goes on.

It seems that our get out of jail free card is that they are turfing these assholes, and effectively transferring our jobs to another administration. Because of the "restructuring," we don't need his fucking permission to do shit. We can go to any school in the city. But until we are out, we wear the mask.

My meeting is at the end of the month. The thought of lying makes me sick -- the place is poison enough without me doing things that go against my conscience. I'd love to say thay I am leaving. I fantasize about saying why. But I don't know -- what do you think I should do? Let me know.